Thursday, February 4, 2010


I feel his eyes on me. He stands behind me and hovers over me with a sword. This man is embittered by power and wealth. This man has a grudge against me. I don't know what I did against him however unreflective I may have been. What ever I said, it must have made him very angry. He summoned his henchmen and profaned my name among them. Word spread. Distortions of my image and personality circulated and circulated. I tried to use my artfulness with language to express my innocence but his henchmen were indifferent to my voice. The women in his circle boast to me. They stand in expensive cloths near where I am, or with their boyfriends proclaiming public displays of affection as if I wanted what they had. As the years go by it continues and worsens. They have a demeanor, menacing, mocking. The men walk slowly in front of me, the women in front of me ruffling their hair as if to provoke me. Sometimes they approach me directly and ask stupid, patronizing questions. When I am in a group they infiltrate the group. They simulate caricatures of my sensibilities, they even deceive me so as to make a fool of me. And all the while there is this Arab in the background, influencing an ever expanding enemy. I am just a girl. I am not invincible. Each time I think of him he grows more hideous in my imagination. Even after he is dead his hateful legacy towards me will continue because he has distorted my reputation beyond recognition. My enemy's rejoice in this destruction of my life. They watch me night after night with glaring malicious eyes and popcorn in hand through hidden CCTV cameras aimed at my home. I am repellent in their eyes. My enemies wait until they can capture me and with all their might utterly destroy me. But I have a mighty blackout of them. I only glimpse the horror for it is too much for a mortal to comprehend. And I am still here, drifting as I am through this miserable existence until I either drop dead or am raped and murdered. My only hope is heaven.

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